So, here we are again, Valentine’s Day, you sly, heart-shaped rascal! You’ve danced through my life with the grace of a reality TV show, swinging between rom-com bliss and tragic Shakespearean soliloquies. You’ve been a blissful whirlwind for the past thirteen years, thanks to my better-late-than-never soulmate. But before that? You were a reminder of my oh-so-solo status, a parade of relationship “it’s complicated” statuses, and how could I ever forget those awkward school-aged years. A horror show of Valentine’s Day cards, where popularity was measured in paper hearts and my desk… well, I wasn’t exactly drowning in them.
Yesterday, I wrote about Self-Love Day, which appropriately comes the day before Valentine’s Day, because how can we love others if we aren’t particularly kind to ourselves? But there’s more to practicing self-love than treating yourself to a nice dinner for one, a bottle of wine, and a marathon of every “Die Hard” movie. Also avoiding the consumption of too many romantic comedies is a good idea as they set unrealistic expectations about love and relationships. Nothing reflects unattainable romance like watching two attractive people, who apparently have no jobs, fall in love after a series of improbable events (events that would likely result in a restraining order in real life).
Then there’s chocolates. I have a bit of an obsession with the confection, (I write about its history in more depth over here.) Chocolates this time of the year are in heart-shaped boxes that are supposed to symbolize your love. Nothing says “I love you” like a box of calories that silently judges you every time you decide to have “just one more.” Let’s be honest; the only lasting commitment from that box is the extra time you’ll need at the gym. But that’s not very romantic of me. I am curious about chocolate’s relationship to love.
Love, Romance, Chocolate
Chocolate and love are like that iconic couple everyone talks about. For this Valentine’s Day exposé, I embarked on a detective mission: who dared to first marry chocolate with love? Spoiler alert: it wasn’t just one visionary, but a whole saga across time and cultures, a symphony of human relationships, social customs, and our love affair with food.
A Tale as Old as Time
Picture this: ancient Americas, where the Mayans and Aztecs are sipping chocolate like it’s the nectar of the gods. For them, chocolate wasn’t just a snack but a divine elixir. Marriage ceremonies? Chocolate was there, hinting at its future as the wingman of romance.
Montezuma’s Viagra
Enter the Aztecs and Emperor Montezuma with his legendary chocolate consumption. He believed in chocolate’s power to spice up his romantic escapades. Thus, chocolate began to intertwine with tales of desire and allure. (Note to self: look up oysters next.)
Chocolate Luxuries
Fast forward to Europeans discovering the Americas and, voilà, chocolate! Initially, they were skeptical, but soon, chocolate became the talk of European courts. It was the Gucci of food – luxurious, decadent, and yes, still an aphrodisiac.
In 17th and 18th century Europe, chocolate houses popped up like Starbucks, buzzing with chatter, intellectual debates, and, you guessed it, chocolate. Then came the Industrial Revolution. Chocolate went from a VIP-only item to everyone’s sweetheart. Cadbury started crafting chocolate in shareable forms, transforming it into the language of love. (Fun fact: The famous Cadbury-filled Easter Egg coveted in our baskets was a late bloomer, appearing in 1971.)
Decadent Roots
With its ancient Roman and Christian roots, Valentine’s Day started to shape up in the 19th century. Chocolate, in all its indulgent glory, became the go-to gift. The Cadbury brothers, those clever chocolatiers, introduced ornate boxes of chocolates specifically for Valentine’s Day, turning them into love keepsakes.
A Symbol of Love in Contemporary Culture
As the 20th and 21st centuries rolled in, chocolate and love’s narrative got a Hollywood makeover. Advertisements, movies, books, and songs all cast chocolate as the heartthrob of romance and luxury. Deep down, chocolate, as a symbol of love, taps into our craving for connection and pleasure. Sharing chocolate is an intimate act, a sensory journey, mirroring the complexities of love – sweet, sometimes bitter, but constantly enriching.
Engaging Our Senses and Our Hearts
So, our love story of chocolate and romance is not a solo project but a collective human experience. It’s about our search for meaning, connection, and those sweet moments that make life worth savoring (and maybe just a dash of brilliant marketing).
In today’s tech-driven world, the simple act of sharing chocolate stands as a powerful statement. Amidst our digital whirlwind, it’s a testament to the timeless human desire for sensory experiences and heartfelt connections. Chocolate, in its unassuming yet luxurious form, continues to symbolize love, a beacon of connection, and a testament to the heart’s capacity for affection.
And the best part? You don’t need to be in, out, or between a romantic relationship to thoroughly enjoy indulging in the delicious delights of a good piece of chocolate.
Celebrate Love in All of Its Forms
For this Valentine’s Day, I like to reflect that amidst this cacophony of clichés and commercialism, there’s a whisper of what Valentine’s Day could be—a nudge to appreciate love in all its forms, not just the romantic kind. It’s a day that could celebrate friendships, the bond between pets and their humans, or the self-love that often gets lost in the shuffle of everyday life. Imagine a Valentine’s Day where the measure of love isn’t quantified by the extravagance of gifts, but by the genuine connections we share with those around us.
And why not buy those half-priced chocolates on February 15th? They taste just as sweet (and victory over consumerism is a flavor we all enjoy). We can turn the day into a celebration of love in all its messy, wonderful, non-commercial glory.
Ultimately, Valentine’s Day is what we make of it—a day of love, laughter, and, if you’re lucky, leftover pizza because you decided to stay in and binge-watch your favorite series instead of braving the crowded restaurants. And isn’t that a version of love worth celebrating?
Here’s to expressing love for ourselves and others, quirks, cringes, and all, not just today but every day. Because, in the end, the person most deserving of your love, kindness, and ridiculously expensive chocolate is, and always will be, you.
Originally published on Tamara McCleary’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/singles-soulmates-self-love-valentines-day-rest-us-tamara-mccleary-wihee
